Ring DVD

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 Movie men 'Ring' in a horrific failure
The movie men have struck again. I mean wow it’s incredibly hard to find a decent movie nowadays. I mean nothing beats classic movies like Wayne’s World, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, and the almighty Suburban Commando. The movies of the late 80s and early 90s may not contain the latest graphic creation as say Shrek, but this was when the movie’s story was of more importance than some gazillion dollar computer-generated graphics. It was late one Sunday evening when I ventured out, with a friend, to the movie theatre with the intent to see The Ring, a movie critics claim to be “creepy” and high quality. The movie itself is directed by Gore Verbinski and written by someone with a name I will never be able to pronounce in any of my one hundred lifetimes. The minute the movie began with the tagline “Before you die, you see the ring” I knew I was in for the lamest ride of my life. The basic story line involves a video that brings certain death. You look at it, the phone rings, and you find out you have seven days to live. The beginning of the movie has a scene with two teenage girls discussing scary stories with each other when one brings up the tale of the horror movie. They then hear the phone ring and fear it might be the “onion ring” they fear so much. After a brief conversation with the scariest person of all, the girls mother, she makes her way back to the room and notices a clear electro conductive liquid, commonly known as “water” is outside her room. Unbeknownst to the girl at this point is that the water is trickling from her television. The girl opens the door and a flash of bright light blinds the audience. A later scene shows the girl in a lovely shade of death (green and purple) and tightly curled up in a closet. There are already numerous flaws with this movie that stretch the gullible audience to their limits. You see over our years as human beings we tend to discover bits of scientific facts. One major one being that water has a tendency to conduct electricity. But this law of conductivity is not present in the The Ring, we are to overlook all common sense we have ever generated about such matters and start swimming around in the pool with your golf shoes and favorite twenty foot radio antenna hanging out of your famous bears cap during a lightening storm. I read an interpretation of this pathetic excuse for a film on the internet and the author gave reason that the reason the girl looked water logged in the closet was because Samara, Daveigh Chase, or the killer monster in the movie had died in a well after a seven day waiting period. The association between the two is that after seven days of soaking in water you begin to rot. This is an excellent interpretation but, water logged after 5 minutes. I don’t think so. The mind-blowing movie continues on to another scene with Rachel, Naomi Watts, standing next to a horse hauler and spooks the horse. The horse charges towards the side of the ferry and the audience expects some majestic leap into the ocean but our buddy Verbinski has just created the best part of the movie. The horse hits the side and clunks it’s head on the hull of the ship as it plunges into the water. They show the passengers of the ship looking into a sea of red water as the horse was obviously sucked into the props. Rachel follows a few leads and ends up at the bottom of a well. Which in itself is a blunder. They drop an object into the well and they don’t hear it hit for several seconds. Yet, when Rachel falls in she lands in the water and is fine. But the water is shallow enough for her to stand. I don’t think so, normally people die after such falls. Rachel is in the bottom of the well when she receives flashbacks of Samara’s youth, before she was “the boxing ring”. They view Samara near the well when her mother strangling her showing a stable in the background with horses within it. Hmm, I see a problem with this because they were on the mainland, the horses were on the island were Samara grew up. The next massive scene failure would have to be when Samara immerges from the television screen. Sure it looks spooky but let’s play with this a little bit. What if the television was mounted on the wall? Would Samara just flop out onto the floor? Or better yet what if he didn’t have a big TV like that; what if he had one of those old portable TVs that was 3 inches wide. Would Samara immerge 3 inches tall? The concluding point in the movie is that in order to stay alive you must copy the tape containing the dreaded “ring” material. But, good luck buddy, now you have to find a twenty-year-old VHS copy machine. This movie was a disgrace to scary movies. If Chucky were still around you would be hearing from him.
Submitted by rinkratmaster (Chicago, Illinois) 
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 Excellent Movie
if you like scary movies then i would recomend everyone to choose this movie definately in the top 10 scary movies.
Submitted by a reviewer (Blanchardstown,Dublin,Ireland) 
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 Scariest ever
This movie is one of the scariest movie I have ever watched,,,scarier than Exorcist,,and there's after effect with this movie and I advice you please don't watch it alone. I dare you if you can...
Submitted by a reviewer (Vallejo, CA) 
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 Awesome
Very scary, best since Exorcist!!!!!
Submitted by a reviewer (Atlantic, IA, USA) 
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 Great movie. A classic scary film.
Great movie. Would refer it to scary movie fans.
Submitted by a reviewer (NJ, USA) 
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