This new album--After December--marks a rebirth for me. It is an evolution of myself, my mind, my spirit and my soul. It is a journey of self-realization and empowerment. The songs on this album are very personal and therapeutic. They have allowed me to become accepting of who I am and the wounds I keep inside. This album has allowed me to feel complete, self-reliant and proud. My obstacles are behind me. My demons are dead.
There is pain, hate, optimism, disappointment, success, accomplishment, failure and serenity here. Each experience, captured and translated into a song or composition, exists solely for the sake of introspection--to realize who I am and to find balance from the encounter. I know myself through my interactions with others and every track has helped in telling a story.
I look back at what I've gone though--the people I have met, the hearts I have touched and the hands that have hurt me. I see everyone now through different eyes--more enlightened. I understand what pain is and I understand what it means to learn from mistakes. There were people who helped me and there were people who should have never been with me. There were lessons and memories, friends and enemies. There are some things that I will cherish forever and there are things I wish I could forget.
I've done a lot of growing up over the past two years. I've seen how much I have changed. There was a time where I would view the world as a big, bad, horrible place, and there were times where I just wanted to give up. I've discovered that things end for a reason, and new things begin from their ashes. I've learned that I can love and that I can be loved. There are things deeper and infinitely more significant to life than the superficial and the material. I know this now.
I hope that people can understand. I hope some can relate. This story I tell is not isolated. It is not just my own. After December is an account we all have shared at one point or another. This album speaks to many, from the voice of one. This album is my voice. This album is the only way I know how to express myself. All the anger I felt, all that hate I carried for so long. All of this, I purged. I released the venom so that I would no longer be intoxicated by fear and resignation.
This album is dedicated to The Demon, The Whore and The Child. It is in hateful memory that my story is told. It is through blackened eyes and shattered smiles that my song is heard. I know now what I have done. I know now what I'll never do again. I hate you for what you've done to me and I love you just the same. I would not be in a safer place if it wasn't for you. I would not be so comfortable with who I am now.
Thank you for making me a better person.
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